


Mockingbird

by allthespiceyoullwant



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 14:06:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4482095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthespiceyoullwant/pseuds/allthespiceyoullwant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the hauntingly beautiful song "Mockingbird" by Eminem.</p>
<p>Please listen to it here: http://www.vevo.com/watch/eminem/mockingbird/USIV20500018</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mockingbird

_Stannis has marched on Winterfell. Ramsay met him in open battle, slaying his armies and emerging victorious._

_Winterfell still stands. However, there have been two casualties. The kennel master's daughter died under mysterious circumstances. The whereabouts of Lady Bolton are unknown. Ramsay is furious and has commanded twenty of his strongest men to look for his bride and bring her back to him._

 

Petyr clutched the parchment in his hand so hard that his nails dug deep into his palm. He did not feel the pain.

_The whereabouts of Lady Bolton are unknown._

The words echoed through his mind.

… _whereabouts... Lady Bolton... unknown..._

_Lady Bolton..._

Petyr clenched his teeth as his fist met the table. It did not help. He let his fist rain hard on the wooden surface again, over and over and over. Splinters dug deep into his flesh, but he did not stop tormenting himself until his hand was aching. He had clawed away his skin. The blood felt warm on his hands. It was good. Finally he allowed himself to breathe again.

Petyr did not remember how long he had been sitting at his desk. When he put down the quill, he looked at two rolls of parchment. He barely recalled writing them.

 

_Sansa—_

_I know this marriage did not make sense to you when I told you of it. But by then, I had taught you well enough. You did as you were told, because you trusted me. I asked you to be strong, hold your head high, fight back the tears pooling in your eyes. You had nothing to worry about, I promised you. You had me._

 

_Sansa, I know you miss your family, and I know you miss Winterfell and the North. It hurt me to see you like this. I left you with Ramsay because I wanted to give you your old life back. I saw that the smile on your lips, so perfectly trained in King's Landing, never reached your eyes. Deep inside, you were crying. You hid it well, sweetling. But I know you too well to let you fool me like this. You were always cloaked in pain, wherever you went, whatever you did. In the crypts of Winterfell, when I said goodbye to you, your fear clung to you like perfume._

_I did not understand why. I thought I had given you everything you wanted. And so I left. But I was with you in your prayers. I told myself that you had no reason to be afraid. I promised myself that nothing would happen to you, not this soon. I vowed to be back with you before anyone could harm you. Your nightmares would never become a reality, not while I was drawing breath._

_My daughter, you are the only family I have. We were alone in this world together, two fools who had once believed in the songs and the heroes and were so bitterly disappoi_ _ nted, in the cruelest way possible. _

_It had turned me to ash. And it turned you to steel before my eyes. I never wanted that. I wanted you to be the sweet and innocent young girl again, the girl I met at your father's tourney, the girl who gushed over knights and blushed when Loras placed a rose in her lap. But the harder I tried to achieve this, the more my design spun out of control._

_I did not plan this, sweetling. You were never meant to be a piece in Ramsay's game. I never would have given you to him if I had known what he was capable of._

 

_My love, my daughter, where are you now? Are you safe? Are you warm, do you have food and shelter? Wherever you are, know that I will find you. I will turn every stone from Castle Black to Sunspear until you are safe in my arms. One day I will hold you again, and then you can rest your head on my shoulder and go to sleep. And maybe when you wake up this will all just be a dream._

 

_Hush, sweetling. Please don't cry. Everything will be alright. Be strong, like I know you can. I will come to hold you through the night._

_I don't know why I allowed these things to happen to you. But I will make everything alright again. I promise. All I care about is you._

 

_You broke my heart, sweetling._

_I vowed to never care about you. At first you were nothing but a piece to me. I was playing the Game of Thrones, and you were the last surviving Stark. You were quite useful, I told myself. But even in King's Landing, I cared. Soon you were ever so present in my memory. Your auburn locks, your blue eyes, your ivory skin. A daughter of the North. More beautiful than your mother ever was. I watched over you from afar, sending you your Florian. Do you remember him? And so I stole you from Tyrion's bed._

_You came with me. What other choice did you have? And it was in the Vale that you transformed. You did well under my counsel, my sweet. You became Alayne Stone for me, a strong woman, smart, enduring. You became my daughter. Who else would you be? We may not be of the same blood, but we are of the same spirit._

_I remember when I was a small boy, even younger than you are now. I believed that love would overcome strength and duty. It was foolish of me, wasn't it?_

_The wound did not hurt as much as the knowledge that the songs had lied to me. Love is worth nothing in this world. What matters is power. I always thought my heart turned to stone that day. But then I met you and I realized my heart was not stone. It was still beating strongly. It began beating for you before I realized it. It did not turn to stone until I heard of the hell I had sent you to, my sweet daughter._

_I tried to be a good father, my love. I tutored you in the art of intrigue, and you were eager to learn everything I could teach you. But you taught me something as well. Without even knowing it, you taught me that I was still a man. I was still capable of desire. Oh, how you inflamed it, my daughter. Do you know how much I burned for you during our time in the Eyrie? I can't count how many times I stood before the door to your chamber, trying to come up with a reason to enter and see you lying in bed, sleeping._

 

_Hush, sweetling. Please don't cry. Everything will be alright. Be strong, like I know you can. I will come to hold you through the night._

_I don't know why I allowed these things to happen to you. But I will make everything alright again. I promise. All I care about is you._

 

_My daughter, my mockingbird. I am already yours. When we are together again, I will make sure you know that. Whatever you ask of me, I shall give it to you. I failed giving you the North, but I will give you the world. You will forever be my mockingbird. When I will finally hold you in my arms again, I will never let you go._

_I will protect you for as long as I'm living. Because I am your father, sweet daughter, and that is what fathers do._

 

The tears in his eyes burned madly. Petyr let them flow.

Then he burned the letter.


End file.
